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What I Know About Germans: Now a Top 1. EDIT: Did you know that What I Know About Germans is now a book? Check it out here! We love this! Our new favourite expat blogger. Liv Hambrett penned this epic list when she lived in Münster, Nord Rhine Westphalia. While a lot of it differs to the things we’ve learned while living in Berlin – and it sounds like our clubs are a lot better! So, from an Australian expat’s point of view: What I Know About Germans.

EDIT: #7. 8 proved to be so controversial that our author felt compelled to write some words of explanation. To read the point that caused so much debate, and Liv’s postscript, scroll down to the bottom of the post]1) Germans are tall. They enjoy dairy products (I suspect this has something to do with their height).

They will put a cheese sauce with most things. The global perception of the German love and consumption of Sauerkraut is not exaggerated.

They have excellent winter wardrobes (I suspect this has something to do with the fact it’s what I would classify as Winter, ten months of the year). They are punctual. It’s in their genetic make up. Their babies are particularly beautiful. They are very good bike riders – nay, they are exceptional bike riders. They manage to look elegant whilst freewheeling down cobbled streets, pashminas blowing out behind them. They are also highly adept at riding with umbrellas.

Germans can eat. And drink. A lot. Regularly. They love meat. In all its incarnations. They are good at mostly anything they do. Or, if they’re not, they try hard and become good at it.

Because …1. 1) Germans are thorough. They work hard and effectively (despite working some of the shortest hours in the Western world). This is why …1. 2) They are the strongest economy in Europe.

What they do during those short hours is probably double what every other country manages to do in twice the time. They speak English better than most English people I know. They have unexpectedly wicked senses of humour.

David Hasselhoff, anyone …1. Looking for Freedom” far, far more than any other country. They love a good boot. And they never scuff them. Even when bike- riding in the rain. Watch Contracted: Phase II Download.

They do not suffer fools gladly (thus only put up with drunk Australians and Americans during Oktoberfest because we’ll pay hideous amounts of money for hideous amounts of beer). They are extremely hospitable. They seem to enjoy Westlife. Germans simply do not understand thongs/flip flops/jandals as viable footwear. Even when it’s warm and sunny. And a boot is impractical, or too warm for the feet to be comfortable. They will stare, bewildered, at thonged feet and quietly wonder if the wearer is mad.

They love a large, mind- bogglingly well stocked hardware store (with a bratwurst stand out the front). Perhaps because they quietly live by the mantra, if you want something done well, do it yourself … and we all know Germans do things well. Therefore they must be permanently well equipped to do things themselves. Germans lose their shit when the sun comes out and act in a manner I can only describe as suspicious. They flock to outdoor cafes and tip their faces to the sun … but remain in boots and jeans with a pashmina close by. Even when it’s 2.

Even when it’s obvious the weather isn’t going to turn. Because …2. 4) Germans are always prepared for the rain. They are very fair people and largely adhere to regulations that exist to keep things fair.

They don’t appreciate the use of the rude finger when driving. If you give it to a fellow driver, that driver reserves the right to report you and your licence plate and you will get a fine. This is why my driving career in Germany may never get off the ground). German clubs routinely remind the world of the universality of 9. They love the breakfast meal.

They enjoy a darker bread. The whiter the less trustworthy. In the same vein of their love for enormous hardware stores, Germans favour a mesmerisingly large Ikea (and other such stores in the same vein as Ikea) complete with an upstairs restaurant, a downstairs cafe and the all important hotdog/bratwurst stand.

Because …3. 1) Germans can always enjoy a hotdog/bratwurst, no matter the time, no matter the place. And they never seem to drip the sauce all over themselves. Germans don’t tend to jay- walk.

And they judge those who do. They are refreshingly comfortable with nudity. Germans are generally candid people.

German men don’t tend to leer. On the two occasions I have been winked/beeped at, I suspect the leerers weren’t, in actual fact, German. It is far too easy to buy biscuits and cake in German supermarkets because, collectively, German people have a very sweet tooth.

Germans love a good rule. And they reap the benefits of a rule- abiding society. Watch A Bit Of Bad Luck Streaming. Germans can drink. And not just write themselves off, vomit in the bath tub at 2am, wedge in a kebab and back it up the following night, a la American/English/Australian binge drinkers … I mean drink. While the rest of the world is vomiting in the bath tub, the Germans are calmly ingesting their 5. German made automobile.

This is because Germans start drinking young. They are allowed to drink ‘soft alcohol’ at 1. By the time we’re all losing our shit with the Breezers, the Germans are enjoying a much more tempered relationship with alcohol … and the benefits of a much more match- fit liver. They don’t necessarily say it to you face, at the time … but Germans don’t like it when you go against the tide in the supermarket. Or get on the bus through the wrong door. This they will say to your face, using a microphone and an unimpressed tone.

If there was a study done on countries and how well they dance in a club/bar situation, Germany probably wouldn’t be in the top ten for general skill. But would they would absolutely ace the enthusiasm component. Germans struggle enormously with the concept of ‘naked feet’ – as an Australian, my feet are always naked and therefore oft- commented upon. Germans, Muensteranians in particular, are always exceptionally well groomed. They embrace one hit wonders.

Royalties from German radio probably single- handedly keep the singers the rest of the world wants to forget, in rent- money. Germans are not afraid to whip out the smoke machine on the dance floor.

They are not ones to make small talk at the supermarket check- out. Or in general, really. Sure, they’ll talk if you talk to them, but they’re not great Small Talk Instigators. I have discussed this with a German who I was, ironically, making small talk with in a department store. He suspects it is because the German language is not particularly made for meandering small talk.

I wonder if he might be onto something. His own brand of small talk was honed on frequent trips to America. Germans enjoy frozen vegetables. In keeping with Article 3. Germans are very open and relaxed about most things sex related.

It is so refreshing to have it dealt with, minus the bullshit. Germans have turned creating quark, yoghurt and cream cheese based snacks into an artform.

They have the single most nerve- inducingly rapid supermarket check- outs in the world. Germans seem to really enjoy How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men and crime fiction. Watch Insidious: Chapter 3 Download. They love their dogs.

Often their dogs catch the bus with them and sometimes their dogs even dine with them in restaurants. Germans. Love. Bakeries. They don’t tend to go to the shops in trackpants and slippers. I do. I think they suspect I am a homeless person with a penchant for Quark. Germans do not see a need for conversational subtext.